SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER
By Pastor Paulus Budiono
Lemah Putro, Sunday, November 4, 2018
Shalom,
It is true that the Lord understands and cares for us even if no one else does. But, can we possibly live on our own without other people’s help? It is note worthy that humans are social beings who need to interface with each other despite their marital and social status – singles, widows or widowers living in comfort.
How about us, being Christians? Are we selfish or self-centered every time? Do we take pleasure in God’s care and protection without regard to others? How does the Lord expect us to socialize with others? Ephesians 5: 20-21 gives us some advice,”Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.”
Then the Lord said that it was not good that the man was alone. That’s why He created a man (Adam) and a woman (Eve) as his helper (Genesis 1:27; 2:18). Being Triune, God himself is one. (Genesis 1:26).
Numerous philosophies of the world teach the way how to be submissive to each other with an eye to a harmonious marriage or a lasting friendship in the society. After all, the Bible strsses that we are to submit to each other in the fear of Christ.
Principally, if we fear the Lord, we will be able to stay humble and care for others. Without His love, we would never stay humble and be a blessing to others for sure. For this reason, the Lord asked the believers in Ephesus to submit to each other throughout the process of maturity. This does not speak of “childish” and “selfish” submission.
Admittedly, not a single person can truthfully stay humble. Their humility has its limitations. When cornered, their true color comes to light. When it comes to humility, Jesus is the matchless model. He offers His help, saying, ”Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11: 29).
Who should we sumbit to? Ephesians 5: 22-23; 6:9 write that husband and wife, parents and children as well as masters and servants should submit to each other. Indeed, it is not that easy to practice humility. But do not be dismayed. If we take His offer, the Lord will empower us to do it in the fear and in honor of Him.
Before a couple got married, each had his and her own self-esteem. What was the price of their self-esteem? They were made from dust – totally worthless. But in God’s hands, they have become priceless – as priceless as He since they were both made according to His image and likeness (Genesis 1: 27; 2: 7).
Do we have anything to be proud of? Self-respect, seniority, wealth or our competence? Keep in mind that we were once in darkness, but we are now the light in the Lord. For this reason, let’s live
as children of light (Ephesians 5: 8). Thanks to Him, we are what we are now. This has nothing to do with our being superb or whatever.
Why do quarrels and fights set in?
Because we forget who we were (Genesis 1-2) and how we fell into sin (Genesis 3).
A husband-wife relationship is prone to quarrels. No wonder the Apostle Paul wrote that they submit to each other prior to their marriage. Husband and wife are worth the same. With this in mind, they have no reason not to respect each other.
If we tend to find fault with our spouse (made to God’s likeness), this means that we do not recognize ourselves. Why is this world overwhelmed with hoaxes and slanderous statements, taking the other party down? Because man does not know who they are and who created them.
When writing “We are members of His body” (Ephesians 5: 30-31), why did the Apostle Paul touch on Genesis 2? Why did he warn a wife to submit to her husband and a husband to love his wife? Submission and love work on conditions. A wife, for example, will submit to her husband and a husband will love his spouse if they meet each other’s conditions. In fact, God created Adam and Eve without any conditions.
When seeing Eve for the very first time, Adam only said, “ This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2: 23). Bone speaks of strength – a husband gets strong if his wife supports him. Therefore, do not ever abuse a wife. Flesh serves to cover the bone. That way, a man or a woman will not look scary but beautiful and good-looking.
Then the next verse includes the phrase “both become one flesh,” meaning that they were worth the same. They were made from worthless dust and gained a high value thanks to the image of God they displayed. They differ in function but share the same goal – uniting and supplementing each other. How do we treat our spouse?
Sadly, the serpent smashed God’s plan into pieces with its twisted message that sounded similar to the pure Word of God. Adam and Eve got overwhelmed by the serpent’s message and transgressed God’s command. Accordingly, man lost fellowship and humility. In fact, Adam did not admit his wrongdoing. Instead, he pointed the finger at Eve. Likewise, Eve pinned the blame on the serpent (Genesis 3: 12-13).
As a consequence, Eve had to work hard to gave birth in pain. But her desire would be for Adam and Adam would rule over her (v.16). Meanwhile, Adam had to sweat all the days of his life to earn a living (v. 17). However, God still loved them and promised victory to their offspring (v.15). The victory eventually came to pass when Jesus died on the cross.
Armored with submission, husband and wife can win the temptations of the devil along with his collaborators who are always trying to wreck married lives. Never turn down God’s command, or else pride will get the upper hand – instead of feeling guilty, we will point the finger at others.
Don’t marriage problems arise time and again because husband and wife blame each other? The husband blames his wife for being incapable of running a household well. On the other hand, the wife blames her husband for his irresponsibility as the head of the family.
Because lusts war in our bodies.
James 4: 1-3 write, “Where do wars and fights among you come from? Do they not come from your lusts that war in your body? You lust and do not have, so you kill. You desire to have and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have, because you do not ask. You ask, and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your passions.”
When confronted with a quarrel, let’s not quickly hang it on the situation, condition, place or others. Rather, let’s introspect ourselves. Did we fail to meet our needs? Were we jealous? Didn’t we pray? Did we pray in the wrong way out of lusts? A man, for example, prays for a life partner to marry just to satisfy his sexual desires.
Galtians 5: 17-21 enlist multi-desires that trigger fights and quarrels.
Because we make friendship with the world which makes us God’s enemies (James 4: 4-6).
The Word of God reminds us not to love the world and everything in it since this world alongside its desires is passing away. Anyone who loves the world does not love the Father (1 John 2: 15).
We should have no enmity to our fellowmen as God’s creation, let alone to God, the Creator! He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4: 6). Rather than a culture, it is our submission to God that determines the standard of our humility. On top of that, we must fight the devil. Then he will flee from us (v.7).
Submission is parallel to humility. The humble are the devil’s enemies. By contrast, the proud make friendship with the devil who is proud right from the start. He even wanted to be more prominent than God. Please note that victory takes side of the humble.
Let’s learn to stay humble and submit to each other. In this way, victory is up for grabs. If a spouse sticks to their pride, the couple will most likely fail to live a happy married life.
Why do we have to submit to Christ? Because Jesus, being a human, also obeyed His Father and was even willing to suffer death on the cross (Philippians 2: 6-11). It was His death on the cross that defeated the devil and the power of death (Hebrews 2: 9, 14-15).
His victory has a way far different perspective from the human point of view. We are of the opinion that victory is only made possible by an unbeatable figure, not a dead person. Having no fear of death, the Apostle Paul boldly said, ”For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain”(Philippians 1: 21).
When it comes to obedience / submission, Jesus is the flawless role model, bearing all our sins. He offered up prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to His Father. And His prayer was heard. He became the source of salvation for all who obey Him (Hebrews 5: 7-9).
What do we pray for? For something to satisfy our lustful desires? For the salvation of our family members and unbelieving friends? How submissive and obedient are we to God and our fellowmen? Is our self-esteem / prestige so high that we find it hard to stay humble?
Remember that God gives His Word that man is able to accomplish. It is our self-esteem and stubborness that stand in our way, so we are not able to practice His Word. To make matters
worse, we try to resolve our problems on our own way. For help, we turn to men’s philosophies that mess things up.
Let’s submit to each other despite our high social status or fame. Everyone is the same before God. Let Jesus be our role model with His unconditional love and total sacrifice on the cross for our sake. In the same way, we are to love our spouse and children without strings attached. If we stay humble and love each other without reserve, we can keep quarrels and conflicts at bay. In doing so, peace will take shape in married lives and in the family of God. Amen.